10 Things Managers Were Never Taught About Leadership(But Wish They Had Been on Day One)
- William Rawe
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
Most management training focuses on processes, KPIs, and how to run a “good” meeting.
That’s useful, but it misses the deeper human realities of leading adults. Here are the ten lessons I’ve learned the hard way—and now teach every new manager I coach.
Your job is adult development, not just task completion
People don’t grow because you give them stretch assignments; they grow when you help them make meaning of the stretch. Constructive Developmental Theory shows most professionals operate from a “Socialized Mind” (seeking approval & belonging). Real leadership is the patient work of helping them build a “Self-Authoring Mind”—their own internal compass.
Frequent mission/vision/values reminders aren’t cheesy—they’re developmental scaffolding
Meta-analyses (Slemp et al., 2018; Allan et al., 2019) prove regular values clarification dramatically increases experienced meaning, well-being, and self-authorship. Stop rolling your eyes at the values poster; it’s literally rewiring how people lead themselves.
Feedback is less about accuracy and more about digestibility
The best feedback is the feedback someone can actually hear today. Start where their current meaning-making system can receive it, not where you wish it were.
Conflict avoidance is the #1 killer of high-performing teams
Most managers treat conflict like hot lava. Psychological safety isn’t the absence of conflict; it’s the presence of trust that conflict won’t destroy relationships. Teach your team how to fight well.
Energy management beats time management
A human being who is exhausted, resentful, or burned out will accomplish less in 20 focused hours than a rested, inspired one will in 40. Protect energy like it’s the company’s most precious resource—because it is.
You are always modeling, even when you think no one is watching
Your Slack reaction speed, the way you talk about the exec team when they’re not in the room, how calmly you handle a missed deadline—people are taking furious mental notes. Act like the leader you want them to become.
Delegation is a trust-building ritual, not an efficiency hack
Poor delegation creates bottlenecks. Great delegation creates future leaders. Every task you give away is a vote of confidence in someone’s potential.
Most “underperformance” is actually poor role fit or unclear expectations
Before you put someone on a PIP, ask: Have I been crystal-clear about outcomes (not activities)? Does this role actually play to their signature strengths? Fix those first; the performance conversation often becomes unnecessary.
Empathy and accountability are not opposites
The highest-performing teams have leaders who can say both “I see you’re drowning and that’s really hard” and “We still need this delivered by Friday” in the same conversation. One without the other breeds either resentment or mediocrity.
Your own development is now the ceiling for your team’s development
The moment you stop deliberately growing, you cap what you can ask of others. Therapy, coaching, reading, 360s, difficult feedback—whatever it takes. The team you want tomorrow requires the version of you that doesn’t exist yet.
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating the conditions for people to author their own. The good news? None of this requires genius—only intention, courage, and a willingness to keep learning.Which of these hit home hardest for you? Drop it in the comments—I read every one.
Ready to turn these leadership blind spots into superpowers? At Rawe Leadership Solutions, we specialize in bespoke coaching and development programs that build self-authoring minds and high-trust teams—rooted in constructive developmental theory.DM me to schedule a free 30-min discovery call, or visit williamcrawe.com to explore how we can tailor this for your organization.
Let's author the future of your leadership together. What's your first step?
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